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The Control Freak, by Les Parrott III
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They're pushy. Forceful. Impatient. Always in a hurry. And they're usually ready to tell others how to do their jobs “better.” Control freaks. Maybe you know one. Maybe you are one. What are you to do? Psychologist Les Parrott (a recovering control freak) helps readers relate better to the control freaks around them. And if you are a control freak, Les will help you become willing to lose the control you love. The book includes self-tests and a lifelong prescription for healthier relationships.
- Sales Rank: #299689 in Books
- Color: Multicolor
- Published on: 2001-02-01
- Original language: English
- Number of items: 1
- Dimensions: 8.20" h x .50" w x 5.40" l, .50 pounds
- Binding: Paperback
- 202 pages
- softcover
About the Author
#1 New York Times bestselling author Les Parrott is co-founder, with his wife, Leslie, of the Center for Relationship Development on the campus of Seattle Pacific University and the bestselling author of High-Maintenance Relationships, Love the Life You Live (with Neil Clark Warren), Love Talk (with Leslie Parrott), 3 Seconds, and 25 Ways to Win with People (with John C. Maxwell). Dr. Parrott is a sought-after speaker to Fortune 500 companies and holds relationship seminars across North America. Dr. Parrott has been featured in USA Today, the Wall Street Journal, and the New York Times. His many television appearances include The View, The O Reilly Factor, CNN, Good Morning America, and Oprah. To learn more, visit www.lesandleslie.com
Most helpful customer reviews
56 of 58 people found the following review helpful.
A Handbook for Dealing with Pushy, Domineering People
By Sister Renee Pittelli
Les Parrott is a Christian psychology professor and author of several best sellers. He is well-known in the Christian community and is the founder and co-director of the Center for Relationship Development at Seattle Pacific University.
I have found Dr. Parrott's writings very useful in my ministry for adult children of abusive or controlling birth-families, Luke 17:3 Ministries. In this book, Dr. Parrott teaches us how to recognize a control freak and discusses their top ten characteristics- obnoxious, tenacious, invasive, obsessive, perfectionist, critical, irritable, demanding, rigid, and closeminded.
A Control Freak has little respect for privacy and snoops in areas that aren't her business. It doesn't matter how illogical his argument or how insignificant his point, he won't let go. He often zeroes in on some minor detail and doesn't care about the big picture. Compromise is unspeakable- she is right and everybody else is wrong. She sets standards you never agreed to live by. Anything and everything is cause for a tantrum. He will make ridiculous demands and insist or coerce you into doing things his way. He uses criticism as a terrific tool to get people to do what he wants them to.
There is a Control-Freak Self-Test which will tell you if you know a control-freak. Yes or No questions include: If something isn't exactly to this person's liking, he or she reflexively points it out- even at the risk of embarrassing others; It seems that winning an argument is more important to this person than finding the best solution; and If this person doesn't get what he or she wants, you can count on a good display of anger, pouting, or the silent treatment.
The WADIT Principle is explained in a grimly humorous way. We continue forever to do something silly that doesn't make sense because of the WADIT Principle- because that is the way We Always Did It.
Various types of Control-Freaks are discussed, as well as how to cope with them, including chapters on The Pushy Parent and The Invasive In-Law. Each chapter includes a self-test so you can see if you have a Pushy Parent or Invasive In-Law. Setting boundaries, saying "No", forgiveness, identifying your own reactive style, and making decisions are all discussed. We are also taught how to tame our own controlling tendencies.
This is a very interesting and informative book for those with controlling family members, or other controlling people in their lives, and I highly recommend it.
15 of 20 people found the following review helpful.
Very Helpful
By David R. Bess
As a person who deals with numerous control freaks, and who possesses the traits myself, I can appreciate Parrot's advice here for handling folks who refuse to do things any other way than their way. I can also appreciate his tips for tempering the control freak within me. His words are candid, thoughtful, and enlightening.
This book is a good read for anyone who interacts a great deal with people. Strained relationships can be mended and strengthened by taming the control freaks around us, and most importantly the control freak within us.
17 of 18 people found the following review helpful.
Good read
By gracie
I picked up this book becuase I had problems with a few control freaks in my life. Reading it gave me a new perspective on why people control and how wide the scope can be. I'm also shocked to realise that a person like myself who's struggling with control freaks also has some control issues. Ironical as it sounds, Les is right to say that "it takes one to know one".
I'll recommend this book to anyone who's dealing with controlling people in their lives. It also provides suggestions on ways to improve those relationships.
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